What Happened to Jay?

Has he disappeared like this trash can using the latest Generative AI now available in Adobe’s latest Beta version of Photoshop, or has it been a slow, deliberate, one could even say “practiced” alteration? Better question, what am I morphing into?!

“Dock in Duck” (Finished piece.)

Am I using the AI hype in the photography world to get traffic, sure, I’m a photographer and retouch artist! Is this a genuine update on my mind-state, feeling as though I’ve had no joy to my life since 2019? Yes.

This Can't Be an Average Saturday! Can it?!

in ,

On the eve of the one year anniversary of losing my Jeep, and then my Instagram in the span of two weeks last February, my 5 month non-stop ordeal trying to handle matters after my father passed still continues, and This is a “Saturday update”.

My mother( #jaysgoflMom )knee surgery is rescheduled for the end of March, but that deserves it’s own path diverged, story-wise…

In the meantime, I’m working on doing a refi of the existing mortgage and placing my name on the Deed/title. If all that goes through then I don’t have to pay inheritance tax on the house provided mom lives 1yr past the date that I sign the paperwork. And the clock on the 5yr Medicare “look back” starts ticking as well. So if she doesn’t outlive her money in that 5yr time frame, for instance, if she runs out of money 6yrs out, Medicare (the Feds), cannot take “my/the/our” house. And of course if her health fails, say in 3yrs, and she passes, then it’s moot.

This being the decision come to as to what is best for my mom after 5+ months in the School or Hard Knocks majoring in “Elder Care”. This warrants me writing a book over a blog post or two. Let me know if you’d like that in the comments! (or if you have any questions, I probably know the answer or can steer you in the right direction to find it.)

So, with that decision made, I have “junk movers” coming over to give me an estimate on Tuesday. Essentially, I’m going to clear out the house in much the same way as we had planned if we ere going to sell it had we found an appropriate facility for my mom. Difference now being that I’m moving back and we are going to take a minimalist approach to furnishing/living in the home. (Physically and financially). Neither of us need a massive coffee table or 10 person dining set “getting in the way”. What is more, the house is already 80% disability-friendly, Bathroom, entrance, stairs, etc.

I’d like to move back and be settled before the date of her surgery  I’ll be much more able to handle her needs post surgery if I no longer have to worry about my apartment 13 miles away. That said, another lawyer that was friends with my dad happens to have a client that is “move in ready” that could take over my lease, provided the management company will allow it. Said lawyer is going to try to help facilitate that outcome. I meet with him Monday. It would be lovely if I can avoid the financial penalty of breaking the lease.

The last few days I’ve also been working on doing my parents taxes for 2022.  That has proved to be overwhelming. I have never prepared my parents taxes before, have you?! Not unless you’re a CPA!

I’m also trying to think how the hell I’m going to afford all of the above.  The financial pressure of all this is the cause of 70% of my insomnia. The other 30% is thinking about the logistics of all the above! And as I scroll on the Tok, I see guru’s telling me how vital sleep is, or worse, Dak Prescott! (I bleed Green) 

Those are the Highlights I guess.  There’s still everything else that I’ve had to continue to take care of since September.  That week to week chaos has not slowed one bit.

I never thought this would be so difficult!  Nothing has been “easy”. Not to say dealing with and handling matters after a loved one has died should be, but I feel like this is just abnormal. Am I off base when I think that?

I see other people living with a devil may care attitude and/or have the art of bullshit mastered and seem to come out of situations better off than when they started.  To a point I’m dreadfully envious! That can’t be real, let alone sustainable, can it?!

I just want my jeep back and escape to the Outer Banks!

The Jeep Fell Victim to the "Handicap Tax"

in

I must first state that no one with a physical disability wishes to treated any different or be pitied. However, I am writing with the hope to give the reader some insight into the lives of those with physical disabilities. Everyone is ignorant until they experience enlightenment.

With that out of the way, what is a “handicap tax”?  It is a broad term that not only involves the extra financial burden set upon those with disabilities, but also the effort and frustration involved with everything from finding and implementing adaptive equipment, to the inconveniences that ripple out to effect friends, family, and even the employer of those with a physical disability.

Though I have written about this in the past, I have recently paid the heaviest “handicap tax” ever in my adult life.  It is this experience that gave rise to the term.

On February 15th, 2022, the day after Valentine’s day, I took my Call 0f Duty, MW3 Jeep Wrangler Rubicon to Fred Beans Dodge, Chrysler, Jeep Dealership in Doylestown Pa. For an oil change and tire rotation.  My Jeep was driven full speed into a wall and subsequently deemed a Loss, four long weeks later.

Add insult to injury, have a listen to the audio from the dash cam after the fact.

Caution: Language

For the record, I golf and have both legs.

Jeep Logo with Mud

My favorite Model

How on earth might this happen, you might ask?  That deserves a bit about me I suppose.  I was born with Cerebral Palsy, though mild, my vehicles need to be equipped with a left foot accelerator.  This adaptive equipment is very simple to negotiate if you are mindful of its presence.  However, the unit does have a quick release that allows it to be removed from the plate mounted to the footwell.  Now, a man of 44 years of age, with three decades of driving with my left foot, I do not give it a second thought just as you give no second thought to using your right foot to drive.  Just as I was surrendering the keys to the service writer, I remembered about the pedal.  I turned and said, “Oh! Wait! I have a left footed pedal in there.”  following, “I can take it out if you need?”  Response given, after a couple seconds to contemplate what I had just said was, (I’m paraphrasing, as I do not remember exactly), “Uhm, No.  It will be fine, no problem.”  I asked, “Are you sure?”  The answer, “Yes, no problem.”  It was a 2012, I had been taking it there for years without it ever being a problem.  I didn’t think to insist.  My walker and I were half way to the waiting area at this point.

Well, after siting in the waiting area for 10-15 minutes, I hear my Jeep red-line and moments later crash into a wall!  Everyone in the dealership, including myself, flocked to the windows that give view down into the shop.  There she was, crashed into a cinderblock wall!

My left foot pedal assembly fits in very few footwells.  The “dead pedal” in most vehicles take up a great majority of the space to the left of the break pedal.  Thus, there is not enough room to fit my accessibility accessory.  It is worth considering that I also need to have enough room to tuck my right foot back, so as not to interfere with the accessory.  This is all to say that my experience buying a car is a an even more frustrating and exhausting experience than it already is for most people.  Most importantly, when I find a vehicle the suits my needs, my intention it to keep it as long as possible.

One vehicle that both my 6-foot, 4-inch tall body and equipment fit into are Jeep Wranglers.  They have a wide open footwell and a decent amount of room for my right foot and leg to not interfere with driving safely.

I had the title of a low milage (62,000 miles), limited edition, with expensive upgrades, in excellent condition when I surrendered my keys to that service writer, I now have nothing.  The insurance value of a 10-year old Jeep Wrangler obviously isn’t enough to buy a new Wrangler.  I understand that is the vehicle’s insurance value.  I do not think I should be left at a loss when I literally had nothing to do with my Jeep being Totaled.

I don’t think my stance that this is an unfair, let alone an unacceptable outcome, is unjustified.  Fair is fair, I surrendered a modified vehicle, made those I needed to make aware that it had special modifications aware, and they still drove it into a wall.  In a busy dealership shop, too.  It’s a miracle no one was hurt or worse!  My vehicle needs to be replaced, and I should not need to pay a cent to have it be so.

Do you?